| | In a previous entry, I wrote that one of my abilities is to be able to smile even when I am angry. It's not something that I put on, or something that I pretend to do. I just automatically do it. Perhaps my brain has this 'smiling-centre-even-when-you're-annoyed' up somewhere in my hypothalamus or something. However, I'm beginning to question if it is a good thing or vice versa.
When I get hurt or angry with some people around me, I barely show it. I put up a brave front, a smiling face and treat them like I normally do, despite my hurt and anger. I would try to the best extent to put whatever that the person had done to me behind me, to erase it forever from my memories. Somehow, some time or another, it failed to work. It is worse that I can't show how hurt I am over the person's actions, because the person may never know it. I don't want the person to know, but at the same time it's killing me because I'm trying so hard. So is it an advantage... or should I learn to speak up my feelings over something? I do not know.
I believe that if you don't want people to do bad things to you, then you must avoid doing them to others. If you don't want people to assume bad things about you, then you don't assume bad things about other people. If you don't want people to make rumors about you, then do not go ahead and do rumors about other people. I believe there is always another side to a story. We must always be just and fair, to analyze both sides before making any conclusion about what is right or what is wrong. Sometimes we let our assumptions be the answers without seeking them without prejudice. And that may have ruptured our chances of wonderful friendships with so many people around us.
I always don't get this mindset that people have: they did it to us, so let us do it to others. A good example is when we talk about senior-junior relationships. I find that most seniors bully juniors because... well, they were bullied back then. You know the drill... wash our plates for us, don't go against us and the likes. But if we keep this mindset throughout the generation, then the senior-junior relationship would never be good. We must act as the agent of change. Don't submit ourselves to this oppressive system. Change it for the better. I saw how my friends struggled to make our seniors appreciate their effort to hold their grand dinner last year. It drained them out of their energy and time. To my dismay, many people refused to come to our grand dinner, which are held by our juniors. I've been in their seats. I know what it's like. At least show a little bit of support and appreciation for their effort. Be the agent of change.
I've already sat for three papers.. well, it's going okay, not so great or so bad. But as my mom have always said, what's done is done. I did my best. Worrying endlessly is not going to change anything, unless Edexcel gives extra pity marks for the worriesome lot. Like that's going to happen :) So, I'm putting W1, Paper 3A and W2 at the back of my mind.. Paper 6A... here I come!
I know this entry sounds so random... but it's nice to be random once in a while :)
Currently Reading
Wahai Ibu! Wahai Ayah!
By Hafiz Firdaus Abdullah
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| | Posted 5/23/2006 9:53 AM - 54 Views - 14 eProps - 9 comments
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